What I have found is that it’s necessary to make sure the American people understand what we have to say, what we stand for as a husband and wife, and what we will do for the American people if we’re lucky enough to be elected - Cindy McCain
Excuse me, Mrs. McCain?
YOU will not be elected to anything in November. The presidency, like pregnancy, belongs to one half of a couple - the other half is just along for the ride.
So, the phone system in our office is a bit screwy at the moment - almost everyone's extension rings through to my desk. Our telecomm guy and the engineer from the phone company have been trying to straighten it out for the better part of 3 days and we're coping as best we can in the mean time.
Or at least most of us are.
*ring, ring*
Me: This is Amandarin
She: Oh, uh, can you transfer me to Mr. X?
Me: Unfortunately, our phone system is a little screwy at the moment so...
She: Just transfer me
Me: As I was about to say, I can't transfer you bu...
She: Yes you can
Me: No, I can't, but if you'll hold on ju...
She: I'd. Like. You. To. Transfer. Me. To. Mr. X. NOW.
Me: Let me transfer you to our Receptionist and I'm sure she can help you.
Wouldn't you know it? Our screwy phone system just accidentally disconnected the call. What a shame.
I had a good day today; read about it over at Butterlfy Fray.
With the apocalypse looming, I decided to buy myself a little belated-birthday-hooray- for-a-new-job gift.
I mean really, what else is there to do at the end of the world but shop?
After much thinking and browsing, I settled on this lovely wallet from the Pick a Petal store on Etsy:
I absolutely adore it and cannot wait for it to get here; I will be extremely put out if CERN prevents me from receiving my wallet by accidentally causing the destruction of life as we know it.*
_____
*Read the source code on that page. Seriously.
It's hard to believe that I've been blogging for five years, and keeping a personal website for more than twelve. I am a true geek and in internet years, I am Older Than Dirt.
This has been an interesting spring for me. A season that is usually the restful and restorative calm following winter's madness has instead been charged with vigorous (and invigorating) change. I've moved. I've had an epiphany. I've started dating a great guy. I've stepped up my training. I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I've been, and where I want to go and today, my brain feels as though it's bursting with realizations, inspirations, and untapped ideas.
There are those who would argue that blogging is an exercise in discipline and dedication, and most of the time I would agree with them, but right now it just feels like a creative siphon. All of my spare time and energy is devoted to turning the ideas crashing around my head into legitimate project outlines and I just don't have an ounce left over for ordinary extraordinary.
So, rather than feeling guilty about neglecting my blog or posting endless memes and tidbits, I'm taking the month of May off.
I'm attempting to make some extraordinary changes in my life and it's time to narrow my focus for a little while. I owe myself my undivided attention.
Never fear my darlings, I will be back, but in the meantime there are plenty of gems in the archives to keep you entertained. Take a spin through them, won't you?
See you in June!
The comment that made my Carpool Buddy snort coffee, uttered during an alternate merge when the female driver of a white Escalade tried to gun her engine and close a gap thereby depriving my of my rightful place in front of her:
How about you try not being a douchebag? 'Cause I will happily run your ass into the shoulder. Eat guardrail, bitch.
I'm such a delicate flower.
Later, as we're driving past a large Jewish temple where one service is clearly letting out and another is about to begin, he pipes up:
Wow, it's like the changing of the Jews or something!
Good thing I was driving rather than drinking. We're even now.
Did anyone get the name of the week that hit me? 'Cause damn.
It's been an exceptionally long week for a variety of reasons and I am really, really glad that it's Friday. Three more hours until I can leave the office, woo! I'm facing an icky southbound drive in rush hour traffic, but at least there will be a Shy Guy waiting at the end of it. (Yes, this will be three dates in one week for those of you playing the home game.) Also, some beverages of the adult variety.
I haven't the brain power to put together a coherent post, so I'm just going to toss out some links that I've been collecting and meaning to share:
And there you have it! Happy Friday, everyone.
I survived red carpet season, I've had to re-schedule a first date three times because of work drama (both his & mine), my car needs work that I now can't afford because I have to move in the next 60 days*, I'm still training in any time that is not devoted to working or sleeping, the deadline for an agreement that I made with Keith is still looming over my head (though he graciously offered me an extension in light of circumstances), and my hard-won raise pushed me into a new tax bracket so I actually owe the IRS money this year.
And yes Mr Anonymous Email Man, I know that my blog header says 2007. Neither I nor the fantastic artist designing its replacement have had much time to think about it yet. You can stop emailing me now.
(Is it just me, or do people get hung up on the WEIRDEST THINGS?)
Phew, March looks a lot like February so far. I'd be completley lost without my wonderful friends; they are keeping me sane.
And now, back to the trenches.
-----
*My property is under new ownership and though the new owner isn't exactly evicting us, she is raising the rent by $500 a month. We're welcome to stay and pay it, of course. Um, no.
The Writer's Strike is over, red carpet season rolls brazenly onward, Valentine's Day approaches menacingly, I'm fighting a losing battle with the neighborhood ants over ownership of the kitchen counters, I'm training in any time that is not devoted to working or sleeping, the deadline for an agreement that I made with Keith is looming over my head, and I just applied for a completely fantastic job.
It's February for certain.
And now, back to the trenches.
Sunday afternoon, February 3rd.
It's cold outside (for Los Angeles, anyway) and pouring rain. My new Crock Pot is full of delicious smelling chili ingredients, which are slowly but surely becoming chili. The cats are snoozing peacefully on my bed. The Super Bowl is on in a little while, and after the game I'll head down to Costa Mesa to see Demz, my favorite Road Dog. The Bossman is snowboarding until Tuesday, so the work week promises to start comparatively peacefully.
Today, life is pretty good.
The Mighty Jimbo is the passerby mentioned in this article and he has written that young man a beautiful letter.
I don't know if you saw the sunrise that morning. I really hope you did. Maybe it would have given you hope. Or maybe it let your last sight be one of beauty. But if I had to find you, I only wish I could have found you a few hours earlier. Maybe we could have talked of dolphins. Maybe you would have let Josh lick your face. Maybe we could have seen the sunrise.
At twenty years old, there are just so many sunrises left to see.
In the office behind me, an Associate Producer is on the phone:
He: Oh man, you're talking about a lot of people huh? We're totally going to have to invest in some hookers & livestock! Wow, Julie's coming?! I haven't seen her since our Chester the Molestor days. Sweet!
How is it possible that an entire week has gone by since last I posted anything? Similarly, how is it possible that Thanksgiving is next week? Who put 2007 on fast forward all of a sudden?
I've been in a bit of a funk for the last week for a variety of reasons. We've been busy at work and my raise is still under negotiation, as it has been for the last 6 months. Money remains a constant source of stress, especially since my Treo committed ritual suicide during a meeting yesterday and I had to scramble to get a replacement. My knee is healing well, but I'm frustrated that I can't train as hard as I'd like to until I've built up more strength in my legs. The Fireman and I have been talking a lot lately, which is both wonderful and heartbreaking since it's very clear that we both want to be together but it's just not in the cards right now. Two of my friends are going through some icky health stuff and I'm worried about them. And, my friend James was killed on the 5 last week. Though we weren't terribly close, he was a shining spirit and the world is a bit darker for his loss.
Thanksgiving (my absolute favorite holiday) is only a week away and once again I find myself unable to treat a houseful of friends and family to food, drinks, and football. I love hosting Thanksgiving, but I haven't been able to do it for the past couple of years because of money & work issues. While I know that's not the end of the world, it still sucks and I'm bummed.
So, yeah. I've been a bit blue lately. There's a lot going on in my head and I've retreated while I struggle to sort through it all. There's a lot to sort.
I am so grateful that I found Muay Thai when I did - it allows me to shut off my brain for a couple of hours each night and that has been invaluable in keeping my sanity.
So we did a walkthrough with the leopard handlers, which prompted this email from my boss:
the one note we did get was that the jib movement could spook [the leopard], so whatever you can do to minimize that would be great.
And the following response from our smart ass Technical Director:
Should we keep an iso reel running on [the jib op], so we have some cool video in the event he is mauled*? :)
On days like this, it's hard not to love my job.
_____
*Never fear, animal lovers - the leopard will be in a cage so there is no danger to her or to anyone else.
This morning, as I was driving through the Cahuenga Pass, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw this:
Now, I have seen people do a lot of things while driving in Los Angeles. Eating and drinking, talking on their cell phones, putting on make-up, curling their hair, shaving their legs (one hand on the wheel, one leg on the dashboard), but this is the first time that I have seen someone reading and highlighting something while going 25mph. I can only assume that he was steering with his knees because his hands were full. His eyes were also nowhere near the road.
I changed lanes pretty quickly after that.
I just got the following from my boss:
Just an fyi there will be a live leopard in the studio on thursday.
That was the entirety of the email.
I'm way too sore & tired to put together one coherent post, so it's time for another random collection of things I could have written about!
OK this brain test, from Australia's Herald Sun, tripped me out for far too long today:
Which way is the dancer turning?
If you see her turning clockwise you're "right-brained", if she appears to be turning counterclockwise you're "left-brained."
If you noticed the fact that she has nipples, you're guy-brained (according to Harris, anyway).
I would have pegged myself as a complete left-brainer (especially considering what I do for a living), but she spins decidedly clockwise for me. Who knew? I did manage to get her to go the other way, though, after focusing on the picture for far too long awhile.
Trippy!
Dear NFL Commentators,
Please stop referring to LaDainian Tomlinson as "LT." There is only one LT, Lawrence Taylor, and he retired in 1993.
You prompt attention to this matter is appreciated.
Best,
Amandarin
I did not, in fact, succumb to an egg-salad induced death.
I did, however, have a horrific anaphylaxis hangover yesterday and felt like crap all day. By the time I got home from work I had such an awful headache that I could barely see straight. Thus, I did not even turn on the lights in my house. I simply dropped my purse on the couch, brushed my teeth (in the dark), changed into my PJs and crawled directly into bed. At 7:30pm. The cats were a little confused, but they're not ones to complain about more cuddle time so they curled right up with me and we all slept soundly until 6 this morning. I feel MUCH better.
In other news: please keep my dear friend Rauri and his unit in your thoughts. They're based at Camp Victory and it was attacked again yesterday. I haven't been able to get a hold of him yet (not really so unusual since his unit moves around a lot) so I don't know if he was actually there for either of the attacks, but a few extra good thoughts sent his way couldn't hurt, right?
I have nothing of substance to write, so how about some random bullet points?
Hey, I warned you that it was going to be random...
Blog, what blog? I'm supposed to be writing a blog? Um...
Hey!
Look!
Over there!
New glasses!
(Which I picked up today, ten days after the optometrist called me to tell me that they were ready. Oops.)
(Also, I feel like this picture makes me look really smug or bitchy or something when in reality, all I am is mind-meltingly tired. I've worked 148.5 hours since last Monday. 148.5 hours. Needless to say there were no days off tucked in there. I's tired folks.)
Dear Mother Nature,
It is 7:30 at night and it is still almost 100 degrees outside. It is 90 degrees in my living room. My cats are panting, my brain is melting, and I've been sweating for three days.
This is NOT OK.
If it's going to be this hot, could you at least lay off the humidity? We don't do humidity here in Southern California and it is making us CRAZY. We are liable to snap at any moment.
Your prompt attention to this matter is greatly appreciated; I think I just heard my basil plants burst into spontaneous flames.
Best,
Amandarin
So I'm watching this movie on Skinemax Cinemax called Ghost in a Teeny Bikini.
(Hey, you'd get sucked into it too if you happened to flip past it as I did, just when a French maid was making awkward sexual innuendos and brandishing her feather duster like a baseball bat. Some things are so awful that you just can't look away.)
I have decided that this is my new favorite Cinemax-after-dark trainwreck for two reasons:
The butler, who is supposed to look like Frankenstein but looks more like a stoner wearing lift shoes, adds plenty of comedic value too.
Best Worst Movie Ever, seriously.
If you ever have the chance to pull over a cop, I highly suggest you do it.
While at Nerd Prom 2007, I spent two hours standing in the middle of a 6-lane street slowing and directing traffic. The "why" isn't terribly important, but it is not an understatement to say that my job (and the jobs of lots of other people) was entirely dependent on my doing this.
What an interesting social experiment THAT turned out to be. People are assholes. I was standing in the middle of a very busy street, very obviously trying to keep everything moving in a slow and orderly way, and I cannot tell you how many people raced past me, screamed obscenities at me, or (my favorite) slowed down until they were a few feet away from me and then gunned it. I hate people. Especially people who drive cars in Southern California.
After about 45 minutes of being abused while standing in the blazing hot sun during my 10th hour of work, my patience wore dangerously thin. When I saw a white Ford Explorer coming around the corner WAY too fast, I put up my hands in the universal gesture of "slow down, cowboy" and got no response. I waved my brightly colored "SLOW" sign and smiled; no response. At this point the guy was coming way too fast and not only was he in danger of hitting me, he was also in danger of destroying the whole reason for me to be directing traffic in the first place.
So, I started to yell.
"Slow down, slow down, slow the HELL down, asshole!"
It was right about the time that my lip were forming the "h" in "asshole" that he got close enough for me to see the San Diego Police Department graphics on his side door.
Shitshitshitshitshit.
He blew past, screeched to a halt, made a u-turn, and headed straight for me. I was absolutely convinced that he was going to arrest me and prayed that my boss would bail me out. When the officer pulled up next to me and rolled down his window, his face was absolutely expressionless:
He: Ma'am.
Me: Hello officer.
He: That was very rude of me.
Me: *blinkblinkblink* Pardon?
He: To blow past you like that, it was very rude of me. I saw you there but I have to be somewhere, so I didn't slow down. I'm sorry about that.
Me: Oh, um, that's ok. I'm sure you have someplace to be...
He: That's no excuse for my behavior; I really am very sorry. I shouldn't be racing around like that without a lightbar or siren (his truck had neither). If you'd like to take my badge number and file a complaint, I completely understand.
Me: No, I don't think I need to do that. Thank you for turning around to apologize, though. I really appreciate it.
He: Do you want my number, er, badge number anyway?
Me: *blinkblinkblinkdidhejust?blinkblink* No, that's really not necessary, but thanks. You're very sweet.
He: Well you have a good day ma'am. Good luck out here.
Me: Thanks; you too, officer.
I would say that was the strangest thing that happened while I was standing out there, but about twenty minutes later a woman pulled out of traffic and ran up to me exclaiming excitedly "I know you, I know, you I totally know you!" Turns out we knew one another at summer camp, in Maine, twelve years ago - she recognized me from 50 yards while I was wearing both a hat and sunglasses. That was the strangest thing that happened while I was standing in the middle of the street.
Yelling at, and then subsequently getting hit on by, a cop was a really close second, though.
Did anyone get the name of the month that hit me?
What was that? July you say? Hmm... I'm not familiar with the word....
You know the story by now: Work ate my life. I've averaged 65 hours a week since the Fourth, with the added bonus of being in San Diego all of last week for Nerd Prom 2007. We did three massive shows back-to-back-to-back and by the time I got home on Saturday, I barely knew my own name. The cats had no idea who I was, either.
Is anyone else tired of this story? 'Cause I sure am.
Fortunately, we only have one teeny tiny event this month and it requires minimal work on my part. For the rest of August I am free! Free to go home before 7pm, free to train the girl who will be taking over my previous job (the one that I'm still doing, simultaneous to my current job), free to see my friends (at least I think that's what I'm supposed to call those nice people who leave me voicemails inquiring about my health.), free to figure out how to keep a modicum of balance the next time a huge event looms.
I decided to celebrate my hard-earned downtime by taking Friday off. It's my birthday (30 - eek!) and there's nothing pressing to do at work so I am going to keep myself as far away from the office as humanly possible. I don't know quite what I'm going to do yet, Mongo suggested a spa day so I'm taking that under advisement, but the important part is that I will not be at work. Woohoo!
Just now, in the office kitchen:
I'm minding my own business, standing at the sink draining the juice out of my canned pineapple before dumping it in a bowl. One of the Associate Producers peers over my shoulder while she's filling her coffee cup.
She: What's that?
Me: Breakfast.
She: Wow, that actually looks healthy.
Me: . . .
I wish that text could appropriately convey the note of incredulity in her voice; she may as well just have said Wow, who knew a cow like you ate fruit? I just assumed that you people exist on a diet of Pop Tarts and Cheetos.
This week was simply chock full of blog fodder!
Yep, it sure could have been a great week of blogging here at amandarin.net...
Guess what boys & girls? It's time for another installment of Things I Would Have Written About If My Job Hadn't Eaten My Life:
So... yeah. That's what I would have written about, if I'd had the time.
I don't think I've mentioned it here yet, but one of the challenges that The Fireman & I are facing is the fact that we currently live about 1000 miles apart. I've been in a long-distance relationship before so I know what we've gotten ourselves into, but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier. The plain truth is that it can be emotionally exhausting to be so far away from the person you love.
However, The Fireman will be here for a week-long visit starting Thursday and I am absolutely giddy at the thought of seeing him in just a few days. I'm trying not to irritate nauseate my friends with my excitement, but Teece is very patient and lets me bounce at her for the good of all humanity:
Me: *bouncebouncebounce*
She: yay!
Me: *bouncebouncebounce*
Me: (Um, I'm going to be doing that a lot this week - sorry)
She: no.... believe me, it's totally fine
She: it's a nice counterpoint to this place. (manager girl walked out of big boss's morning meeting on the edge of tears... never a good indicator of his mood)
She: young happy love gives me hope for the world
She: so you bounce... bounce like the wind... for the good of all humanity
She: a butterfly flaps its wings and a breeze goes around the world. Someone has the love bounceys and ... well, that's got to cure somebody's cancer somewhere, ya know?
Me: LoL! *bouncebouncebounce*
A few weeks ago, it was cold (for Los Angeles anyway) and raining.
Today it is 98 degrees, sunny, and something is on fire.
What happened to Spring? I miss Spring.
Today was a Day. The kind of day that has you needing a drink at 10:30 and ready to kill someone for a drink by 5.
It is safe to assume that I may not have been in the best of all possible tempers while driving home this evening.
That being said, I was merrily minding my own business on the drive crawl up Cahuenga this evening when I came upon the intersection at De Longpre.
It bears mentioning that this is a notoriously bad intersection. Because Cahuenga narrows and curves at this point, and because the entrance to Amoeba's parking is just half a block up, it's not uncommon to sit at this intersection for a full light cycle before actually getting to go through it.
It also bears mentioning that there is a fire station on the north west corner of the intersection.
As I pulled up, I saw that the lane was at a stop and that I would find myself sitting in the middle of the intersection if I continued onward. So, although the light was green, I stopped on the near side and waited for my lane to clear lest I "block the box."
That's when the woman behind me started honking.
Not a little "Hey, did you mean to stop there?" beep or an aggravated "Move!" kind of honk, this was an impatient, blaring hooooonk followed by an obnoxious and insistent hooooooooooooonk.
Anyone who has driven with me knows that I hate being honked at under the best of circumstances. When I am already cranky and am doing absolutely nothing wrong, I really loathe it.
The light turned yellow with no movement in my lane so I resigned myself to sitting through the rest of the light cycle. The woman behind me, clearly unahppy with my assessment of the situation, decided to voice her dissent by laying on her horn for all she was worth.
That's when I got out of my car and tapped on her windowr.
When she rolled it down a smidge, eyes wide as saucers, I spoke pleasantly:
Ma'am, I understand that you are in a hurry but, as you can see, traffic is heavy and our lane is at a complete standstill. Perhaps you've noticed that it's rush hour. It is not my goal to slow you down, I promise that I would continue through the intersection if there were space for my car on the other side but there isn't. I will not block the box, particularly when there is a fire station right there. Now please just settle down and be patient and I'm sure we'll all be moving shortly. Oh, and if you touch that horn again? I'm coming back here to break your fingers.The sense of relief in this woman was palpable - I'm fairly certain she thought I was going to kill her.
As I got back into my car, the guy in the car next to mine (who had also stopped so as not to block the box) turned to me and started applauding.
Last night, I got the best text message ever:
Honky tooooonk badonkadonk...No context, no follow-up message, nothing. Just a random midnight Trace Adkins tribute.
Ya know, you'd think that finally purchasing a shiny new computer would give me more opportunities to blog. Alas, no. I bought it on Friday and here it is Tuesday already! I've only a moment to pause and update so (once again) I'll be brief:
I bought the aforementioned computer on Friday night and stayed up way, way too late playing with it. There's a compatability issue between the version of OS X that I have on my PowerBook and the new version on my MacBook, so I couldn't use the migration assistant to transfer any of my sound or music files. I've really been enjoying transferring 13 gigs worth of music over the fire wire connection by hand.
I ran into Joy Nash (of Fant Rant fame) in Hollywood on Sunday and stopped her to tell her how eloquent and fabulous I think her rant is. In the course of conversation we discovered that not only did we go to college together, we worked on several shows together. Further proof that Los Angeles is, at its core, a teeny tiny village.
I also got my car washed on Sunday (yes, I am to blame for yesterday's rain) and ended up tipping the two guys who detailed the Lotus Elise that was parked in front of my car in addition to tipping my own guy. Those two spent 45 minutes detailing that Lotus and the driver didn't tip them at all - they both looked absolutely stunned when he grabbed his keys and drove off without so much as a nod of thanks. Sometimes, I hate people.
I am seriously considering getting a Tivo. There are already two shows on television to which I'm completely addicted (Bones & Dresden Files), but now that I've watched the first two episodes of The Tudors online I'm hooked on that, too! Jonathan Rhys Meyers: *swoon*.
Dr. Geek and I have been playing phone tag (or rather, IM tag) about when next to get together. Possibly Friday. The suckiness of his living 30 miles south of me is compunded by the fact that our schedules are, of course, nearly completely opposite.
Thanks to the wonders of iChat, I got to actually "see" Kerr last night for the first time in a couple of years. He's one of those people with whom I share an incredibly deep and treasured friendship, in spite of the fact that we don't get to talk or see one another very often. It was good to catch up; he makes me smile.
Work is crazy, my house remains in a state of perpetual project, and there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day for anything! But, other than that, I'm fine.
How're you?
There are few things that suck harder than turning down a last-minute invite from one person (in this case, Dr. Geek) because you already had plans with another person, only to have that other person cancel those plans at the very last minute.
Grr.
I was going to cheer myself up with a trip to the Arclight, but pretty much all the movies I'm interested in seeing are decidedly lacking in chipper content.
Screw it, I'm going home to watch whatever fluff is looping on Cinemax.
On Tuesday night I had dinner with my friend C, whom I had not seen since the turn of the century we graduated from college. We had a lovely time catching up over delicious food & drinks at Granville (Hilary: we must go); I'd forgotten how she and I can keep each other laughing for hours. She only made me choke on my drink once, though, when she relayed the story of having a Japanese friend of hers house-sit:
She: ...so, since I had to be out of town for the second half of her visit, she actually ended up housesitting for me.
Me: How'd that go?
She: Pretty well, until the Poster Incident.
Me: Poster Incident?
She: The night before she was supposed to leave, M called me very upset and said C! C! I so sorry; I broke your poster! Since I don't have any posters in my house, I was a bit mystified and asked her to clarify. The poster! The poster in the kitchen! I broke it, I so very sorry. I buy new one for you, good as new. I finally remembered that when we'd moved I'd rolled up a crappy old print of a painting and stuck it in the corner of the kitchen, meaning to throw it out. I assured her that it was trash anyway and that she didn't have to buy me a new one, but M was not comforted No C, not the painting - the poster! Where you post your bread in the morning - I broke it! So sorry, but I buy new one for you.
Me: Oh, she broke the toaster!
She: Exactly, and I was too busy trying not to laugh to get the whole story but I understood that it had something to do with a tortilla. When I got home there was a shiny new toaster sitting on my counter, and next to it the old one with the tortilla draped over it like a shroud. She'd drawn a very detailed diagram to explain what, exactly, she was doing with the toaster at the time of it's untimely demise but I'm still not exactly sure what happened. All I know is that M somehow managed to melt the plastic casing of my toaster with the tortilla and that I got a brand spanking new appliance out of it.
I was laughing so hard by the end of her story that there were tears rolling down my cheeks. We've promised not to let so many years pass before we have dinner again.
Ladies, travel back with me if you will to February the 14th...
Remember how your husband/boyfriend/new guy scored the perfect dinner reservations, sent that big vase of flowers to your office, or presented you with the perfect shiny new accessory? Remember how you gushed to all of your friends and co-workers the next day about how perfect Valentine's Day was? Of course you do, you would not shut up about it for a week afterwards.* He spent countless hours agonizing over every detail and the execution of his plan was flawless.
Ladies, that amount of effort doesn't come without a price and it's payback time.
March 14th is Steak & BJ Day - a day for you to show the men in your life how much they mean to you. No elaborate plans are required, no cards or flowers or sunset cruises are - just the two things that make men the happiest: a steak, and a blowjob. Easy!
To quote the ever wise Crickett:
Just one night, throw caution (and TMJ) to the wind. See a cute guy? Ask him out! You don't even have to reveal what you've got in store for him, just get that man a steak, put his meat in your mouth, and maybe the next day you can send him a nice email explaining the occasion and asking for the next date.
Don't let perfectly good men like Pretty Chris sit home alone on March 14th. Haven't you, on the nights that you were alone on that stupid, manufactured Hallmark holiday, wished for the phone or doorbell to ring unexpectedly with a surprising suitor on the other end? We're counting on you, ladies, to suck it up and even the score.
Now get out there, and get to workin' that beef (of both the hot and the rare varieties).
After all the effort that the guys go to on that horrible Hallmark holiday, it's only fair that we pay them back. Right?
-----
*OK, maybe that's just the woman who sits near me.
On average, kindergartners laugh 300 times each day. The typical adult laughs only 17 times each day. What happens to our laughter as we grow older? It seems to disappear amid the serious business of being an adult. I encourage you to recapture the silliness of the five-year-old within you. If the adult in you needs a reason, tell that adult that it’s good for you. -Mary Ellen Halloran
A few things that are currently making me laugh out loud:
What's making you chuckle these days?
I have survived Live Events Season.
Let's run a little tally for the past 8 weeks, shall we?
No wonder I slept for nearly 14 hours last night.
On the plus side, I was so busy working that I completely missed most of February - my least favorite month of the year. Bonus!
New content coming as soon as my brain as finished resetting itself.