ordinary extraordinary

We're Even

The comment that made my Carpool Buddy snort coffee, uttered during an alternate merge when the female driver of a white Escalade tried to gun her engine and close a gap thereby depriving my of my rightful place in front of her:

How about you try not being a douchebag? 'Cause I will happily run your ass into the shoulder. Eat guardrail, bitch.

I'm such a delicate flower.

Later, as we're driving past a large Jewish temple where one service is clearly letting out and another is about to begin, he pipes up:

Wow, it's like the changing of the Jews or something!

Good thing I was driving rather than drinking. We're even now.

Bob Knows Best

I totally have a new favorite local band, and its name is Bob Knows Best. From the website:

The band’s original songs have earned them comparisons to Weird Al Yankovic, They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Tenacious D, and Flight of the Conchords. . . The Mission of Bob Knows Best, or BKB for short, is to expose the band's listeners to a selection of songs to quench their diverse musical thirst and put a smile on their faces at the same time. BKB can take you to the funk of the 70’s, the vaudevillian sounds of 1910, the country flavor of yesteryear and then back to the rock sounds of today.

Shy Guy and I went to see them on Friday night and we had an absolute blast. Not only are the band members extremely talented musicians, but the songs are catchy and funny as hell they put on a great show. I highly suggest that you click on over to their MySpace page and listen to a few tracks; you'll be glad you did.

Sweet Ride

The LD and I have been tossing around the idea of carpooling for some time now. We live less than a mile apart and generally work the same hours, but for some reason we haven't quite made the leap to ride-sharing yet.

Today, when prices crossed the $4/gallon mark at our local gas station, I got this email from him:

Gas is expensive. Really expensive. It would be cheaper to fill my car with Voss Water. Are you interested in carpooling? I own an irresistable '99 Mustang. Sweet ride.

Have I mentioned lately how glad I am that I bought an SUV right before gas prices started to spiral out of control? Yeah. Great choice. My response:

Yes! Can't wait to go for a spin in that "sweet ride."

So, as of Monday morning, I'll be carpooling a few days a week. Hopefully now I'll be able to afford to eat again.

Inspiration

One of the things that I love about Los Angeles is that it is I am constantly surrounded by creative energy.

When I moved to Los Angeles to attend USC, I didn't expect to like it. I thought that I would go to college, rack up a few memorable experiences, and then hightail it back to the East coast as soon as humanly possible. That's not exactly what happened, though. Instead, I fell in love with the pulse of the city and I'm still here more than twelve years later. Los Angeles is very different from my familiar New York, but she breathes too.   

The bitter and the jaded will tell you that this city is a soul-sucking pit of despair that will kill your Muse and suck her dry of every last ounce of inspiration, but I disagree. Los Angeles is one of those cities to which people are drawn when they have big dreams of doing big things. She doesn't give up her treasures easily and those without the heart for the battle certainly do return home empty and defeated, but those who remain infuse the city with a persistent creative vibrancy.

There is a long-running joke about Los Angeles that everyone here as a "day job" and a "passion job." I know I do, and so does almost every single person I know. What do you do? Is always an entertaining getting-to-know-you question because the answer generally goes Well I do xxx to pay the bills, but I'm really working towards doing xxx. It takes a lot of energy to earn money doing one thing while pursuing another; only passion can keep someone waiting tables during the day and rehearsing / writing / performing / auditioning at night. That passion permeates the city.

I had dinner with some friends on Tuesday night and, over delicious s'mores at Luna Park, we started trading updates about all of our personal projects. We were all so enthusiastic that we were talking over one another, bouncing ideas around the table, feeling our projects grow from the rush of creative fervor. We were so absorbed in our conversation that eventually we abandoned our corner booth for a table at Starbucks where we continued to talk almost until closing. When I got home, I stayed up far too late jotting down notes from everything that had been brought to life over our simple dinner.

On the days when I am beaten down, thirsting for words while my Muse is sullen and silent, I need to remember that in this city, inspiration flows all around me; I need only reach my hand out into its cool current and drink my fill.

Paying it Forward

BootieLA was absolutely off the hook on Saturday. In spite of the fact that it was the first Saturday in January (typically a slow date for bars & clubs) and it was absolutely pouring rain, The Echo reached capacity just before 11:30pm. I have never seen the dancefloor as packed as it was that night. Unfortunately, since The Echo didn't anticipate a capacity crowd, they only staffed two bartenders.

Two bartenders (and one overworked barback) for several hundred sweaty, thirsty people.

Eastside crowds are notoriously laid back and the Bootie crowd even more so, so most people took it in stride. It was very clear that the bartenders were doing their level best to keep up with demand, so we fought our way valiantly to the front and then made friends with the people around us while we waited for our turn to order.

But there's always an asshole, isn't there?

The guy next to me, heretofore known as Asshat Extraordinaire, made a big show of drumming his fingers, rolling his eyes, and sighing dramatically until he ordered. He then proceeded to order 5 Irish Car Bombs, 4 girly shots of some sort, and 3 draft beers. The bartender absolutely goggled at the credit card slip after Asshat Extraordinaire had paid for his drinks and held it up while asking Are you serious?

Asshat hadn't tipped at all on 12 drinks. His rationale? I had to wait, like, forever man - I'm not tipping you shit. Pour faster next time. WTF douchebag, do you not see the two bartenders running their asses off? Do you not see that the bar is 6-deep with people waiting for drinks? Do you not see the rest of us waiting patiently and chatting amongst ourselves? The Leo in me just couldn't keep quiet.

Me: Dude, that's pretty low. Do you not see how hard these guys are working?
AE: Shut the fuck up. I'm not tipping when I had to wait forever for a few measly drinks.
Me: Seriously man, it's not his fault that the bar is understaffed. They're doing the best they can.
He: Well aren't you just a loudmouth fat fucking bitch?
Me: Fuck you, douchebag.
Bartender: Dude, don't come back to me. Ever. I'm not pouring for you again.

Asshat Extraordinaire opened his mouth to say something else, but I think the murderous look on my face, and on the face of the bartender, made him change his mind. Wise move on his part. Since I couldn't kick the Asshat's teeth in (well I could, I just didn't), I chose instead to add $10 to the tip that I left the beleaguered bartender.

In relaying this story to Keith later in the night, he asked me why I'd tipped for the Asshat's drinks. I didn't have a good answer other than that it seemed like the right thing to do. It's not the bartender's fault that one of his customers was a total douchebag. Ten extra dollars isn't much of a sacrifice on my part, but I could tell that it meant a lot to the bartender. So... why not?

Maybe it's my indomitable sense of fair play, maybe it's my hyper-sensitive injustice meter, but when I see something like that and I have the ability to make some reparation, I do. I don't do it to be a "better" person, Lord knows I won't be up for sainthood anytime soon since I'm equally as likely to get up in someone's face, I do it because instinctively it feels like the right thing to do.

It's funny, I was having a similar conversation at a party recently - one of the people to whom I was talking was shocked to learn that I've been known to pay for a stranger's coffee at Starbucks for no reason other than that the thought to do so struck me at the time.

Have you guys seen this Liberty Mutual commercial (or its sequel)? I absolutely believe that's the way the world works and I strive to do my part. Maybe someone at the bar saw my reaction and in turn tipped a little more generously, or treated someone a little better. Maybe it's like a butterfly effect and marvelous things will grow out of a single, small act.

Or maybe not. It doesn't matter, really, because those potential effects are not the point at all.

As a whole, I believe that humanity is basically good. I evaluate people on a case by case basis because I don't think that all individuals are inherently good, and I think that pack mentality easily overpowers an individual's instinct to behave reasonably, but overall I think that humans are  a decent sort. I am, therefore, a big fan of paying it forward.

I believe in karma. I believe that eventually, the Universe returns to you what you send out into the aether. I believe that the only way to instigate change is by example. And I would like to believe that by doing my part to help others, help will be there for me when I need it. I haven't thought long and hard about these things, I haven't felt the need to, to me they're just... True.

So I'll keep doing these little things, and people will keep looking at me quizzically when I can't explain why, and that's ok. It's my Truth, after all.

It's all fun and games...

...until someone crashes their car.

So it's been raining here today. A lot.

We here in Southern California have a tendency to overreact anytime water threatens to fall from the sky - the first sign of clouds overhead and the local news pre-empts everything for STORM WATCH 2008.  It's ridiculous and we non-natives get a big kick out of watching all of the panicky press coverage, but severe rainstorms really are a problem here.

First, the Los Angeles area is simply not built for rain. The topography works against us since we're perched in and around valleys, narrows, and flood plains; we're already at a disadvantage for controlling large, sudden amounts of water. The climate doesn't help - endless months of dry weather punctuated by wildfires and/or earthquakes make the soil very loose and arid which, in turn, makes it very likely to move when it gets wet. All of this is made worse by the fact that our infrastructure was not built with rain in mind at all. Our streets and freeways flood, our power plants fail, and our bridges and roadways fall apart. Severe rainstorms are as problematic for us as blizzards are for colder climates.

Second, Los Angeles residents seem completely incapable of remembering that we do, in fact, have a rainy season. Every year, 90% of the population stares at the sky in fear and confusion, wondering what brought the evil sky water and when it will stop. This causes them to make some very, very bad decisions.

Like driving 70mph on the 134 freeway, after dark, when it's pouring rain and visibility is 8 feet at best. Behavior like that made my drive home from the chiropractor tonight absolutely harrowing.

People, when the flooding is so bad that there is a CURRENT on the freeway, slow the fuck down. You don't have to be anywhere that imperatively. I'm looking at you Mr. I-can-barely-control-my-hydroplaning-Camaro, and you Ms. I-think-I'm-invincible-in-my-Land-Rover. There is absolutely no way either of you could have stopped in time if you'd come upon a stalled car, or a stretch of standing water, which does explain why both of you lost control of your vehicles when we hit that two foot deep patch of water. The fact that you didn't run into each other, or the median, or any other cars, is nothing more than dumb luck and I hope that you're both still thanking your Guardian Angels for that save.

The storm is supposed to continue throughout the weekend so I think I'll stick close to home until it passes. I'm not afraid of driving in the rain, but I sure as hell am afraid of everyone else driving in it.

Open Letter: KROQ Edition

Dear KROQ,

Are you trying to prevent people from buying tickets to this year's Acoustic Christmas? That's the only possible explanation I can think of for the convoluted way in which you've handled the event.

First, there was the overblown buildup to the announcements of each night's line-up. Normally I would have been out right there, but the line-ups were so good that I begrudginly agreed to stand by for purchase information.

Next came the ruling that tickets would only be available to KROQ Street Team members. I seriously resent being forced to sign up for your marketing vehicle in order to spend my money on your event, but fine - I gritted my teeth and signed up to get spammed.

Then there was the interminable waiting for ticket information. Acoustic Christmas is this weekend, but on-sale information wasn't sent out until about twenty minutes ago. KROQ used to be above that type of false, unnecessary hype but not anymore, it seems.

At last, the ticket information. Great! Except for three little things:

1) The tickets go on sale at 5pm and 6pm tomorrow. When most adults are, you know, WORKING or driving home from working. Hardly a good time to be in front of a computer. But I guess it's ok since the server will no doubt get overloaded within 10 minutes and lock most people out anyway.

2) Then there's this little gem: Sales to this event will be restricted to residents of Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino, and Ventura Counties. Residency will be based on credit card billing address. Orders by residents outside Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino, and Ventura Counties will be canceled without notice and refunds given. What? Why?

3) And finally: $187.00 a pair? Seriously?

So... I jumped through all of your freaking hoops only to be told that tickets will be outside my budget and go on sale at a time that I can't possibly hope to be in front of a computer to make my purchase (even if I could afford it). Awesome.

KROQ, WTF are you thinking?

No love,
Me

P.S. I'd also like to add an extra-special "Fuck you" to Ticketmaster for charging people $2.50 MORE for printing their tickets at home. Because somehow using my printer, and my ink, costs Ticketmaster more money? Right.

Multitasking

This morning, as I was driving through the Cahuenga Pass, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw this:

(Sorry for the image quality, the camera on my Treo is craptastic!)

Now, I have seen people do a lot of things while driving in Los Angeles. Eating and drinking, talking on their cell phones, putting on make-up, curling their hair, shaving their legs (one hand on the wheel, one leg on the dashboard), but this is the first time that I have seen someone reading and highlighting something while going 25mph. I can only assume that he was steering with his knees because his hands were full. His eyes were also nowhere near the road.

I changed lanes pretty quickly after that.

Could Have 2

I'm way too sore & tired to put together one coherent post, so it's time for another random collection of things I could have written about!

• California? Still on fire. Fortunately none of the wildfires are burning too close to me, but several friends have been evacuated already and many others are packed and ready to go. Please send extra special mojo to the Greaser and his wife - the condo that they bought last week is directly in the path of one of the Valencia-area fires.


• I'm finally on the Twitter bandwagon. Follow me, won't you?


• Keith & I nearly got blown onto Santa Monica Blvd when we were at Century City on Saturday night; that should have been a warning about how bad this round of fires was going to be.


• I am a dork, a big one. I was supposed to join my company's team for AIDS Walk Los Angeles on Sunday, but I forgot to set my alarm and slept right through it. I have agreed to repent by offering many rounds of margaritas to the two girlfriends with whom I was supposed to walk.


• I met Paul Joiner at the laundromat on Sunday night. That name won't mean much to you if you're not a college football fan, but if you are you'll remember that in the mid-nineties he was a starting linebacker at Cal and one of the most promising young linebackers of the decade. His career ended when, in the summer between his junior & senior years, he got behind the wheel of a car drunk and high and totaled it. Though the 4 passengers all escaped with minor injuries, he was in a coma for a couple of weeks and had to re-learn everything - even how to swallow. He's doing pretty well, all things considered. He's an interesting guy. My title as Queen of Random Supermarket and Laundromat Experiences is secure.


• Work has exploded all over my life and I'm trying to clean it up because I am doggedly determined to keep some semblance of balance as I head into my crazy season.


• A huge number of my friends have either recently had babies or are due to have them soon. I suspect this is directly related to the zillions of weddings that I went to one spring/summer a couple of years ago.


• I willingly and happily spent 2.5 hours at the gym tonight. I got there early to warm up and have someone show me how to wrap my hands (again), then class ran a little long, and  then as I was hanging onto the heavy bag for dear life after my 100th knee strike (ow) Chief poked his head around the bag and said "Hey, can you stay? I want you to do 30 minutes on the bike before you go." For some reason, I said "Sure!" I blame temporary insanity.
  


• I'm considering starting a separate Muay Thai blog because I want to talk about it all the time, but I don't want to bore all of you to tears. Because my usual posts are soooo riveting. :-)


• What's everyone doing for Halloween? I want to do something, but I am completely devoid of inspiration.

Shake it, baby

I know where I'm going to be tomorrow night, how about you?