Paying it Forward

BootieLA was absolutely off the hook on Saturday. In spite of the fact that it was the first Saturday in January (typically a slow date for bars & clubs) and it was absolutely pouring rain, The Echo reached capacity just before 11:30pm. I have never seen the dancefloor as packed as it was that night. Unfortunately, since The Echo didn't anticipate a capacity crowd, they only staffed two bartenders.

Two bartenders (and one overworked barback) for several hundred sweaty, thirsty people.

Eastside crowds are notoriously laid back and the Bootie crowd even more so, so most people took it in stride. It was very clear that the bartenders were doing their level best to keep up with demand, so we fought our way valiantly to the front and then made friends with the people around us while we waited for our turn to order.

But there's always an asshole, isn't there?

The guy next to me, heretofore known as Asshat Extraordinaire, made a big show of drumming his fingers, rolling his eyes, and sighing dramatically until he ordered. He then proceeded to order 5 Irish Car Bombs, 4 girly shots of some sort, and 3 draft beers. The bartender absolutely goggled at the credit card slip after Asshat Extraordinaire had paid for his drinks and held it up while asking Are you serious?

Asshat hadn't tipped at all on 12 drinks. His rationale? I had to wait, like, forever man - I'm not tipping you shit. Pour faster next time. WTF douchebag, do you not see the two bartenders running their asses off? Do you not see that the bar is 6-deep with people waiting for drinks? Do you not see the rest of us waiting patiently and chatting amongst ourselves? The Leo in me just couldn't keep quiet.

Me: Dude, that's pretty low. Do you not see how hard these guys are working?
AE: Shut the fuck up. I'm not tipping when I had to wait forever for a few measly drinks.
Me: Seriously man, it's not his fault that the bar is understaffed. They're doing the best they can.
He: Well aren't you just a loudmouth fat fucking bitch?
Me: Fuck you, douchebag.
Bartender: Dude, don't come back to me. Ever. I'm not pouring for you again.

Asshat Extraordinaire opened his mouth to say something else, but I think the murderous look on my face, and on the face of the bartender, made him change his mind. Wise move on his part. Since I couldn't kick the Asshat's teeth in (well I could, I just didn't), I chose instead to add $10 to the tip that I left the beleaguered bartender.

In relaying this story to Keith later in the night, he asked me why I'd tipped for the Asshat's drinks. I didn't have a good answer other than that it seemed like the right thing to do. It's not the bartender's fault that one of his customers was a total douchebag. Ten extra dollars isn't much of a sacrifice on my part, but I could tell that it meant a lot to the bartender. So... why not?

Maybe it's my indomitable sense of fair play, maybe it's my hyper-sensitive injustice meter, but when I see something like that and I have the ability to make some reparation, I do. I don't do it to be a "better" person, Lord knows I won't be up for sainthood anytime soon since I'm equally as likely to get up in someone's face, I do it because instinctively it feels like the right thing to do.

It's funny, I was having a similar conversation at a party recently - one of the people to whom I was talking was shocked to learn that I've been known to pay for a stranger's coffee at Starbucks for no reason other than that the thought to do so struck me at the time.

Have you guys seen this Liberty Mutual commercial (or its sequel)? I absolutely believe that's the way the world works and I strive to do my part. Maybe someone at the bar saw my reaction and in turn tipped a little more generously, or treated someone a little better. Maybe it's like a butterfly effect and marvelous things will grow out of a single, small act.

Or maybe not. It doesn't matter, really, because those potential effects are not the point at all.

As a whole, I believe that humanity is basically good. I evaluate people on a case by case basis because I don't think that all individuals are inherently good, and I think that pack mentality easily overpowers an individual's instinct to behave reasonably, but overall I think that humans are  a decent sort. I am, therefore, a big fan of paying it forward.

I believe in karma. I believe that eventually, the Universe returns to you what you send out into the aether. I believe that the only way to instigate change is by example. And I would like to believe that by doing my part to help others, help will be there for me when I need it. I haven't thought long and hard about these things, I haven't felt the need to, to me they're just... True.

So I'll keep doing these little things, and people will keep looking at me quizzically when I can't explain why, and that's ok. It's my Truth, after all.

Comments

[Hilly]

I think it's great that you tipped for the jerk's drinks...that totally is going to get you some great karma, even though I am sure that isn't your reason for doing so.

And why is it that all neanderthal cretins go straight for "fat bitch" when they cannot think of anything clever to say?

[Crickett]

Had I been at the bar with you, I would have verbally backed you up in accosting that doucherocket, and I would have tipped extra my ownself. Even if I didn't know you.

I really hope that the bartenders did well that night, and that there weren't too many more of those fuckerheads.

[Tag]

Well done!

I think you did much better than I as I am at a point where it has been a while since I've had to break somebody's bones and I'm kinda gettin' the itch.

I consider it an honor to know you and concur with your thoughts regarding this concept.

[ninja rad]

brava! brava!

[m]

That was a cool Leo lioness thing to do.

P.S. I like the florals in your blog header - are they fractals?