Ordinary Extraordinary

You know what they say about assumptions...

Just now, in the office kitchen:

I'm minding my own business, standing at the sink draining the juice out of my canned pineapple before dumping it in a bowl. One of the Associate Producers peers over my shoulder while she's filling her coffee cup.
She: What's that?
Me: Breakfast.
She: Wow, that actually looks healthy.
Me: . . .

I wish that text could appropriately convey the note of incredulity in her voice; she may as well just have said Wow, who knew a cow like you ate fruit? I just assumed that you people exist on a diet of Pop Tarts and Cheetos.

Could Have

This week was simply chock full of blog fodder!

• I could have written about the bomb scare that shut down four blocks of the street on which I work Monday afternoon. Every single building in the area was evacuated - except mine.


• I could have written about my Catalan lessons and my tutor's continued refusal to speak to me in English. Not only are we great at charades, we're getting pretty good at Pictionary, too! I also could have blogged about how written Catalan barely resembles spoken Catalan and how much fun it is to try to figure out how to pronounce a new word when they're not spelled phonetically at all.


• I could have written about children, and the magnetism I seem to have for them lately. No matter where I am - at my Catalan lesson, at the laundromat, at the grocery store - they're following me around as though I am the Pied Piper. (Though I haven't lured any of them into a cave. Yet.)


• I could have written about the tropical wedding I didn't attend, the birthday invitations I had to decline, the drinks I completely forgot about, and the Curry Night I had to miss because of (you guessed it!) work. Also? I could have written about my frustrations over working this f*@%$*g much and still being this f*@%$*g broke.


• I could have written about the car accident I got into on Wednesday night and how awesome THAT was at the end of a 12 hour day.


• I could have written about Mongo, and how much he rocks for forcing me to go out and have food and beer, on him.


• I could have written about my friend Tom, who died early in the week - nearly a year to the day after Curtis (a mutual friend of ours) died under extremely similar circumstances. My friends & family could stop being plagued with cancer ANY day now, thanks.
  


• I could have written about working 6 days in a week and how, because Murphy is a bastard, the 6th day was the biggest nightmare goat rodeo of them all.


• I could have written about the new flowers & herbs I planted today, and how happy they make me.


• I could have written a long and eloquent post in honor of my Dad on Father's Day.


• I could have written about my tomato-stealing neighbor and how she is proof that if you give people an inch they will take a mile every tomato off your (6' tall!) vines.


• And of course, I could have written about The Fireman and how he continues to amaze and delight me every day. Even in the face of some serious things with which he's currently dealing, he never fails to make feel loved and cherished. I only hope that he can say the same of me.

Yep, it sure could have been a great week of blogging here at amandarin.net...

Would Have

Guess what boys & girls? It's time for another installment of Things I Would Have Written About If My Job Hadn't Eaten My Life:

• I would have written about Firebug's boyfriend flying me up to San Francisco last weekend as a surprise gift for her 30th birthday. That post would have included such gems as an explanation of why I'm kind of a big deal in Oakland, a description of the best burrito I have ever eaten, a review of Knocked Up, and a list of 50 reasons I no longer like to fly (hint: none of them have to do with heights, airsickness, or technophobia).
• I would have written about jury duty, and how I got it postponed the morning I had to appear.
• I would have written about the Ocean's 13 premiere, specifically about how rad Brad Pitt's car is (it was parked right next to our truck), how our Director got mistaken for George Clooney, and how I won the respect of an entire crew by carrying 120lbs of cable 20 yards. Also? I would have written about how glamorous my job is, as exemplified by our catered lunch which was served in a private corner between the urine-soaked alley and our generator. Ah, Hollywood.
• I would have written about the fact that Keith and I have set up a near-weekly lunch date and how much that rocks.
• I would have written about Orbit's Mint Mojito gum: Best. Gum. Ever. It tastes exactly like a mojito!
• I would have written about work and how I now have all the responsibilities of a promotion without either the new title or accompanying raise.
• I would have written about the Tomato Plants That Might Eat Pasadena, and the death of two of my bean plants (*sniff*).
• I would have written about my language tutor and her stalwart refusal to speak in English. We're getting very good at charades.
• I would have written work some more, especially since I logged 60 hours Monday - Friday and then went in for another 8 today.

So... yeah. That's what I would have written about, if I'd had the time.