Sleeping With Knives, Again

Apparently it was too much to hope that the prowler was an isolated incident. That would just be too easy!

This is me we're talking about, after all.

And really, what I needed upon returning home from a late-night screening and Q&A for Pan's Labyrinth was to become aware of some creepy freak skulking around outside my house. Again.

I'd just sat down to write up a post about the evening when Taylor woke up from a sound sleep to stare intently into the darkness outside one of the southern windows. Her hackles went up and then I heard it too: shuffling and footsteps on the dead leaves outside.

Goddamnit.

Having slightly more presence of mind this time than last, I headed to my bedroom to retrieve my camping knife (since I'm storing it within arm's reach of my bed these days) and flashlight. What I should have done next was pick up the phone and call 911, but suddenly I was very, very angry.

This is my house, motherfucker, and YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

So instead of picking up the phone, I pocketed my keys, crept outside, and ran around the corner of my house screaming obscenities in my father's voice.

The prowler hit my neighbor's windchime in surprise (I didn't see the impact as I hadn't rounded the corner yet, but I heard the strike and it was chiming & swaying drunkenly with nary a breeze to be felt) and took off running through the shadows of my neighbor's lawn.

Then I called the police, and spoke to one of the six (6!) officers who was dispatched to my house last time. I gave him a full report and was rightfully yet gently scolded for running out of my house to confront the unknown Creepy Guy. He sent a few officers to my house, including Hot Cop from last time (I really should start dressing to be prowled; PJs aren't exactly my best look), who did a sweep of the area, drove around a bit in the direction that Creepy Guy ran, and told me they'd keep my house in the patrol rotation for the rest of the evening. I thanked them profusely and told them that I sincerely hoped I wouldn't have to call them again.

And so, here I am: safe, pissed the fuck off, and very annoyed that I still didn't get a good enough look at this person to give anything but the vaguest of physical descriptions.

Here's hoping that I scared the everloving shit out of Creepy Guy and that he thinks twice about ever coming near my home again.