Ordinary Extraordinary

Sleeping With Knives

I met a guy last night.

He was about my age, 6'2"-ish with dark hair, a great smile, and a very comforting presence. He didn't leave my house until about 1:30 this morning, but when he did I felt calm and safe.

I'm hoping that I never see him again.

Why?

He was one of the six (6!) members of the Sheriff's Department who were dispatched to my house around 1am this morning to investigate a prowler.

Because having some creepy freak lurking around my house is EXACTLY what I needed this week.

I must have dozed off watching television in my living room because I woke up with a start around 12:30 in the morning - I had that unsettling feeling that I'd been woken by a loud noise even though it was silent in my house. I heard a few leaves rustling below my south-facing windows, but I assumed it was a raccoon or skunk so I didn't think anything of it as I turned off the TV and the lights.

A moment later I was still standing in my dark living room, trying to decide whether I wanted to take a shower or just go straight to bed, when I saw a male figure pop up outside one of the southern windows. He walked across my lawn, froze when my neighbor's motion-sensor light came on, then darted around to the far side of my house. Since there's a window in my bathroom, I crept in there and peeked out to see if I could tell where the guy had gone.

He was RIGHT THERE, no more than eight inches away from the window, and just standing there. It was too dark for me to make out his features (even basic ones), but I did manage to form a mental picture of his build & his clothes before I crept out of the bathtub.

Until then I thought that I was spooking myself unnecessarily, that he was just some guy who'd walked too close to my house on his way to one of my neighbor's houses, but the fact that he was lurking there in the shadows compelled me to retrieve the phone (and my camping knife) and call 911.

As I was on the phone with the operator, I could see the prowler circling the dark sides of my house (he stayed away from the lit driveway in the back and the motion-sensor light in the front) and could hear him rustling around in the leaves below my windows. When the operator asked if I had any weapons she seemed glad to hear that I have several pointy & sharp things in the house and that I know how to use all of them.

Six lovely men with Maglites & guns showed up a few minutes later and searched the entire property as well as the grassy/wooded area behind our garages. Unfortunately they found nothing except a few footprints under my bathroom window, so the Hot Cop told me that they'd drive by the house a few more times during the night and that I should definitely call 911 again if the prowler returned. I thanked them and then barricaded myself inside my home, setting things that would make noise in front of my door and vulnerable windows and taking both my knife and the phone to bed with me.

I'd be lying if I said that I got much sleep, though.

The most unsettling thing, really, is that there's no way to know if this prowler is some random freak who thought my house looked interesting, or someone who targeted me specifically. If it's the former, hopefully the speedy show of police force was enough to scare him off. If it's the latter, I can definitely expect to see him again.

Several friends have offered to let me stay at their houses, but I have declined. I have strong lungs and 200 pounds of muscle to protect me, not to mention many sharp things and 911 on speeddial.

I refuse to be scared away from my own home; this is my sanctuary and tresspassers are not welcome.

So, how was your night?

Addendum (for those of you who have asked): No, I don't think the prowler is related to this incident nor do I think it was my ex skulking around; he has a very distinct silhouette and gait which I can identify in an instant from 50 yards.

*wham*

I had a snarktastic post planned for today - a fine, fiery essay about the stupid drama in which I recently became embroiled, the arrogant phone call that I got on Thanksgiving, and the continuing woes of my car, furnace, and water heater. There was even going to be a bonus paragraph about my getting stuck on the 134 freeway for more than two hours this morning!

Then, on my drive home, Reality came along and hit me square in the jaw with his cold, hard fist.

I saw stars as he knocked my world into harsh perspective.

Thankfully, I was headed to Boy 2's house at the time and he met me at the door with open arms and a bottle of scotch, both of which he applied in generous amounts.

Details may follow eventually, but not tonight.

(Oh, and? I came home a few minutes ago to find Oscar trapped UNDER my house. He must have slipped down there while the repairman was working on the furnace which means that he was trapped there for at least nine hours. The Manager and I will have Words tomorrow morning.)

Contribute

Those of you who read my blog via its main page rather than RSS feed will notice a new TypeList to the left called CONTRIBUTE. Since the holiday season is now in full swing and people are looking for ways in which to share their time or money, I wanted to list a few of my favorite organizations. Some of these are local - I'm sure those of you in other areas of the world can find similar programs closer to home:

ANY SOLDIER, INC. We talk a lot about supporting our troops, but the military personnel deployed overseas can't read our bumper stickers or see the ribbons on our doors - they can't hear our speeches or read our blog posts. What they CAN do is read letters, and enjoy care packages full of reminders of home.

Started as one family's way to help their son's brigade, Any Soldier, Inc. has expanded to include all branches of the armed services and reaches almost 20,000 active duty military personnel via more than 4,000 military representatives. Because my father was a SeaBee, I've chosen a rep who is the OIC of a SeaBee battalion stationed in the Al Anbar provice of Iraq.

The system is simple: Scroll through the military representatives (all of them post personal messages about what they need, what their conditions are like, etc), and apply to receive that rep's address (because of security concerns they are not posted on the website). Then, fill up a couple of care packages with treats, necessities, and letters and send them off! Warning: Please read the FAQ and sending regulations very carefully - sending mail to a war zone requires a few extra steps and precautions.

PASADENA HUMANE SOCIETY & SPCA The PHSSPCA is one of the oldest animal shelters in Los Angeles County - it was founded in 1903! Not only do they offer boarding, sheltering, adoption and outreach education, they are also very involved in investigating animal cruelty and neglect. Though they're well staffed for volunteers at the moment, they can always use donations and, of course, homes for their orphaned animals!

PHAT GIRLS RUNNING Support me in my goal to run a marathon on December 10! OK, you're really supporting AIDS Project Los Angeles - a wonderful program that is dedicated to improving the lives of people affected by HIV disease; reducing the incidence of HIV infection; and advocating for fair and effective HIV-related public policy. The marathon is less than two weeks away so you only have one more week to donate! (The deadline is December 3, 2006)

THE LIME PROJECT Heather has cancer and we, her friends, think that sucks. We think it sucks more that since her insurance does not cover prescriptions, she has about $20K in outstanding medical bills. So bronxelf decided that we had to do something about it. Fast.

Next thing we knew, fourteen of us were naked and posing for a 2007 calendar! I'm January. We're doing a very limited printing and have already sold out more than half so hurry up and order yours before we run out! If you don't need another calendar, you can also make a straight donation from the order page.

THE ANGELES NATIONAL FOREST If I look out my kitchen window, I can see the peaks that make up the south west boundary of the Angeles National Forest. Many Los Angeles residents don't know that in addition to being a beautiful place for hiking etc, the Angeles National Forest also contains the majority of Southern California's watersheds - an invaluable public resource. There are countless ways to help the Forest Service protect the Angeles National Forest; check out the volunteer page for a few ideas!

VOLUNTEER MATCH Want to volunteer but have no idea where to start? Volunteer Match is the place. You can search by metro area and by interest so you won't be overwhelmed by hundreds of options.

I love the generosity that pours forth during the holidays, but please remember that there are people, animals, and wilderness areas that need help all year - not just in December. If you're too strapped/busy to contribute now, pledge to do it in February, or in May. The need does not stop when the new year rolls around.

8 Miles? Easy!

And now for some happy news: I have fabulous new running shoes! Many thanks to Teece & Tag for the early Christmas present.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to go to a professional running store (Teece & I went to Run With Us in Pasadena) if you're buying shoes for something like a marathon. Since I'd been fit for my shoes at the beginning of this process, I took them in for comparison; I figured I'd just be able to get another pair of the same shoe and be on my way. The salesman looked them over for about ten seconds before:

He: You're having more problems with your left foot than your right, aren't you?
Me: Yeah, actually.
He: Your left knee is bothering you though, isn't it? It's weaker than your right?
Me: Yes, it has been since I hurt it when I was 14.
He: How's your left hip?
Me: Not good.
He: Yeah, we can fix that. You pronate severly when you run. These shoes you've been running in are for moderate pronation, but you need more support - you need a shoe with motion control. Do you like these, other than the blister they're probably giving you on the inside of your left arch?
Me: Yes, I *thought* they were comfortable...

So he brought out another pair of Asics in the same series as my old shoes, just with more motion control and a wider toe box. He also taught me a fancy way to lace my shoes that would provide more support through the heel without bruising the front of my ankle (as tightly laced shoes are prone to do after 10 miles or so).

Who knew running could be so comfortable?

We did 8 miles this morning and I didn't feel any of the pains that usually set in after the first five miles or so. I didn't even get a blister on my big toe! Yes, my feet were sore form the novelty of being properly aligned, and my knees and hips were still tender, but it wasn't the pain that I'd been running through before.

I might be able to walk after this marathon after all!

Keep Your Friends Close...

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer:

She: Oh, I thought of you in the market the other day. If I ever want to murder you, I saw the perfect weapon in the kosher aisle: a can of poppy seed paste!
Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaack! Noooooooooooooooo!
She: It made me laugh, I must say. I didn't even know there was such a product.
Me: It's my kryptonite
She Always good to know that everyone can find it at Vons.
Me: I'd better start being nicer to people... :-)
She: Starting with me, since I know which aisle it's in.
Me: *bats eyelashes* Have I told you lately that I love you?
She: Mwah! Back at ya. I forgot where the poppyseeds are already.
Me: Yay!
Me: *phew*

Thanksgiving

This year, as every year, we celebrate with our family before we celebrate with our relatives.
-Mongo, toasting the start of last night's annual pre-Thankgiving bash

It's been difficult to feel thankful this week.

Though I know academically that I am far luckier than many people, this week has worn me down. As I write this it's 55 degrees in my living room because my furnace is out again and, because of the holiday, won't be fixed until Monday. I've just lit the pilot on my water heater and am hoping that it will warm up enough water for a shower before it shuts off again (it also won't be repaired until Monday). Tomorrow I'm supposed to take my car in for one of the necessary repairs that I can ill afford. I'm worn down from a crazy week at work and stressed out about everything that needs to be done before I leave for the marathon and Nutcracker Weekend.

Try as I might, the ability to be thankful for the big things has eluded me this holiday.

As I was driving home from Mongo's party, though, I realized that I have lots of little things for which to be thankful. Little things that make coping with the big things so much easier.

• I am thankful for Mongo and his roommate Matt for including me in their family and for offering up endless amounts of wine, laughter, and deep fried turkey.


• I am thankful for friends who know exactly where to rub in order to unlock the tension in my shoulders.


• I am thankful for Boober, Boy 2 & Teece, all of whom included me (or offered to include me) in their Thanksgiving plans


• I am thankful for Firebug, who has always let me ask for help.


• I am thankful for Chana, who always has an ear and a fresh perspective.


• I am thankful for my cats, who have suspended hostilities in light of the cold temperatures and curl up peacefully next to each other on my lap.


• I am thankful for Teece and Tag, who have offered to buy me new running shoes (to replace the old ones) as an early Christmas present.


• I am thankful that I leave for Hawaii in ten days, even if I haven't quite figured out how to feed myself while I'm there yet *g*


• I am thankful for Ab, the Gas Company technician who came back to my house twice to try to fix my furnace & water heater - even going so far as to replace my regulater & gas meter at 9pm by flashlight. When it was clear that neither appliance could recussitated, he taught me how to light my water heater (and gave me the necessary tools) so I could at least have moderate amounts of hot water over the weekend.


• I am thankful that, although both other gas-powered appliances are dead, my stove still works perfectly.


• I am thankful for my co-workers, who always ask me how my marathon is going and who have donated nearly 80% of my fundraising total thus far.


• I am thankful (today and every day) for my family, both chosen and blood-related, who provide me love & support for no reason other than because they are my family.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

TSA Press Release

Flying for the holidays? Make sure you're familiar with the latest TSA regulations:

Gah

Before 10am this morning I:

• Discovered that not only is my hot water heater (still) broken, the pilot on my furnace won't stay lit either.


• Stubbed my to so hard that I chipped my (fresh) pedicure.


• Dropped (and broke) a glass full of orange juice.


• Left my car at the dealership for "routine" maintenance and got shuttled to work by Faboo Supervisor.


• Nearly got carsick on the ride to work due to the heat & stop-n-go-traffic.


• Had two cameramen back out for tomorrow four minutes after sitting down at my desk.


• Got a call from the dealership letting me know that my car needs $1500 worth of parts & service, including new brakes and rotors. Guess who doesn't have $1500?

The day continued along its morning path so before 10pm this evening I:

• Had a glass of wine with dinner.


• Had another glass of wine.


• Had a third glass of wine.


• Started swigging wine straight from the bottle.

OK Mercury, you win. *waves white flag* I shall be over here licking my wounds in the company of my good friend, Pinot Grigio.

MacGuyverette vs. Mercury

Although *I* intended to run all 26 miles on Saturday, my left shoe apparently had different ideas. It blew out somewhere around mile 12 leaving me with absolutely no arch support. Have you ever tried to run long distances (or really, any distances) without arch support? You don't get very far.

About a mile, in fact, which is just about how far it was from the scene of the blowout to my car.

I also intended to stick around and cheer in the rest of my group, but the volunteers were low on ice and I really needed to get some on my poor arch so I headed home.

My early departure ended up being a very good thing as the guy from The Gas Company showed up four hours early to fix my water heater. If I'd been able to keep running, or had stayed to cheer in the rest of the Libbys, I would have missed him entirely.

That wouldn't have been much of a loss, in the end. The water heater stopped working again about three hours after he left.

I learned my lesson about freezing cold showers last year, so I had to MacGuyver myself a better system this time around.

Tools:

• 1 Large stock pot full of cold tap water (thank you, Val. Best gift ever.)


• 1 Thermal travel mug w/ lid removed


• 1 Chopstick


• 1 sense of whimsy and adventure

Method:

• Heat water on stove until almost too hot to touch. Test periodically by hand; you'll know when you've heated it too much.


• When heated thoroughly, transfer (heavy, hot, dangerous) pot from kitchen to bathroom. Try not to step on cat, or burn him with hot water as he winds himself between your ankles on the journey.
• Balance pot precariously on tub's edge.


• Set thermal mug & chopstick on opposite edge of tub.


• Follow all pre-shower rituals as usual & step into tub.


• Turn on cold water through lower tap only.


• Dip thermal mug into water until half full.


• Fill mug to top with cold water from tap.


• Mix thoroughly with chopstick (this step is VERY important, otherwise you'll end up pouring freezing water over your head followed by scalding water. Not. Fun.)


• Pour water over head until hair is wet.


• Lather. Rinse.


• Repeat as necessary with various body parts, reserving at least a quarter of the hot water.


• Mix last of water with cold water from tap until suitably temperate.


• Pour over head


• Follow all post-shower rituals as usual.


• Hope that The Gas Company can fix your water heater before you have to go through this song & dance again.

Take that, Mercury.

Overheard

This evening, at the grocery store:

He: Dude, I'm still all greasy from that stupid kleenex.
She: Honey, it was ONE Puffs Plus.
He: Why did you buy the greasy kind anyway?
She: Because I had a cold and my nose was all raw and sore.
He: Well they shouldn't have been next to the bed.
She: Sweetheart, I am a girl. When I buy kleenex they are for my nose.
He: *noncommital grunt*

And then I tried not to hurt myself with the effort of stifling my giggles.

In other news, I'm running 26 miles tomorrow. Eeek!