Ordinary Extraordinary

Impromptu Hiatus

And... I'm back.

Miss me?

The past week has been an absolute whirlwind tornado and I've been extremely busy making sure that my house didn't end up in Oz. *g*

I'm still alive, though, and not a munchkin in sight so I'm considering myself ahead of the game.

Details on the storm to follow, but for now I'll give you a small example that will explain how scattered my brain is - it took me far, far too long to figure out the following bumper sticker this morning: 3NLS + 1CRS = 1SVR.

*facepalm*

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday, Hilary!

I figured you'd have plenty of cake (or cupcakes, as the case may be)... so here's a birthday martini! Hope you have a fabulous day! :)

About the heat

Look, I know all of you are sick of hearing about how hot we are out here on the west coast, but I'd like to explain something:

Southern California is a semi-arid, temperate region. We don't do extreme hot, extreme cold, or humidity. Period. We are poorly equipped to deal with each of these things individually, but when two hit at once? We're goners. It was 111 in Beverly Hills yesterday; you could practically hear the hiss of deflating implants and the sizzle of melting silicone.

It was even hotter at my house. The ambient air temperature in my front yard on Saturday was 119F. The temperature in my living room on Saturday was at least 95F. (I say "at least" because the thermometer on the thermostat redlines at 95) The humidity, both inside and outside, was around 69% making the air "feel like" it was upwards of 125 degrees.

125 degrees. People that's not an air temperature, it's an oven setting.

Today is shaping up to be slightly cooler (at least as long as the sun stays behind these lovely clouds) but more humid. Gah.

I'm so glad I know people who have pools.

10:37pm

... and it's 87 degrees in my house.

87.

Inside.

I am SO ready for autumn.

Steady, as she goes

Find yourself a girl, and settle down
Live a simple life in a quiet town
                      . . .
Your friends have shown a kink in the single life
You've had too much to think, now you need a wife

Tuesday morning, I was eating breakfast and half-listening as the NBC morning news yammered amicably about about Zagat's new nightlife guide. Suddenly, a familiar voice echoed out of my television and I looked up to see a very familiar face - one of the players from my days as the Trainer for 'SC's rugby team.

I actually dropped my cereal spoon.

Though Roc and I lost touch nearly 7 years ago, I'd recognize him anywhere; there was no chance that the man on camera was anyone else. After a little creative Googling, I found an email address for him and dashed off a message; he got back to me almost immediately and promised to call me so that we could catch up properly.

Last night we finally had the chance to chat for awhile. We managed to talk for quite some time before approaching the most dreaded portion of any "catch-up" conversation:

He: So, you married yet?
Me: Nope, not yet.
He: No? No? How is that possible?
Me: Please, I barely have time to sleep much less sift through all the chaff in this city, looking for a kernel of wheat.
He: You don't need to bother with all that. Just find one you want, tell him you're going to marry him and be done with it!
Me: Club him over the head and drag him back to my cave, as it were?
He: Exactly.
Me: I'll have to try that.
He: What ever happened to Apollo?
My heart stopped.
Me: Actually, he lives less than a mile away from me.
He: And you're not married yet why? I figured you two would be long married by now, with a couple of kids.
Me: You did?

I laughed but my heart plunged into my stomach and stayed there, even after we'd changed the subject.

In my head I was thinking Yeah, me too.

_____
*Lyrics from Steady, As She Goes by the Raconteurs

BlogMe

I'm not going to the BlogHer conference this year, but I've still been tagged to participate in the BlogMe online mixer. I should have answered these questions on Monday but, well, I'm lame.

1. When did you start blogging and why?
I started keeping a website in 1995. It started out as a project for a web development class and then progressed to a hobby. I've kept an online journal of some sort since then (before the advent of "blogs" *gasp*), but it was always part of a larger personal website. Three years ago I gave up my previous URL, overhauled my website's design, scrapped all of the extraneous personal crap, and focused on creating a formal, public blog.

2. Who do you read every day, rain or shine?
I have all of the "Clever Blogs" listed at the left grouped into one RSS feed which I check at least once daily.

3. How would you describe your writing style?
Conversational, but not "lazy." I believe firmly in the power of punctuation, sentence structure, and grammar.

4. What don’t you write about? Anything considered a no-no in your book?
I don't write about my job except in very general terms (I'm not really interested in getting dooced) and I don't write about anything that could be potentially embarassing and/or damaging to my friends and family. I'll embarass myself no end, but not the people I love. Because of that, I also use pseudonyms for everyone mentioned in my blog unless I have specific permission to use a name.

5. How do you feel about meeting bloggers in real life?
I think it's only slightly less of a crapshoot than online dating, but so far I've been quite lucky. Several of my current "real life" friends started out as blogger buddies.

6. Have you written anything controversial? Is blogging controversial?
Anytime people are given the opportunity to express differing opinions in a public forum, there will be controversy.

My post about Scientology brings the highest number of random visitors to my site (apparently a lot of people are searching Google for "I hate Scientology" these days) and it never fails to stir up an email or two. My more recent post about gas prices is also a favorite amongst the volatile masses.

7. Are you and your blogging persona the same person?
I write as myself and my blog reflects a portion of my life, but not the entirety of it. My favorite line from the Blogger's Disclaimer is one that I wish more people would remember: Do not assume that you know everything there is to know about a writer simply because you read their weblog on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information they have provided you about themselves, which is probably vague, incomplete or embellished.

8. Have you ever anonymously posted on a site to flame them? Never; anonymous posting is cowardly and flaming is a waste of time and energy.

I feel so... mixed!

Adoration

This might actually be the greatest sentence of all time:

Jon stubbed his toe on the plate that night as we were getting ready for bed, and when he asked why there was a dinner plate on the floor in our bedroom I said, “YOU try licking hardened melted cheese off a surface without using your hands and see which room you end up in.”

Just one of a zillion reasons to adore Dooce.

Sometimes it's hard to feel sacred

One of the wonderful things about being a woman is the exceedingly delicate nature of our body's chemistry. Many things can affect the precarious balance of our bodies (climate, diet, moon phases) but antibiotics are by far the worst.

Antibiotics like the ones I've had to take for the last 5 days to stave off infection after getting my wisdom teeth pulled.

Gentlemen, you're going to want to stop reading now. What follows is a frank conversation between me and YummyTeece about girly bits, garlic, and feeling sacred... a conversation best left behind the mysterious veil of womanhood.

Spamoetry

This bit of spamoetry arrived in my mailbox this morning:

To: Amandarin
From: Menachem Golan
Subject: naeouu

nothing, and in the South there was no sign of the dragon, but there was a gathering of very many birds. At that they gazed and wondered; but they were no nearer understanding it, when the first cold stars came out.

How fortuitous! I was just saying the other day that aren't enough Israeli actors sending me excerpts from The Hobbit...

Meme-ology

Still not quite back to the land of the living yet, but I'm close... so how about a meme that I stole from Kevin, Dave, and countless others?

Grub-ology:

• What is your salad dressing of choice?
  Totally depends on the contents of the salad, but I generally default to Balsamic Vinaigrette.
• What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
  Hmm, probably Quiznos or Baja Fresh.
• What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
  I can't possibly pick just one!
• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
  20-30%. If the service is bad, however, I will leave an intentionally small tip and speak to the manager. I'm not a total bitch, though - I'll speak to a manager about superior service, too.
• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
  Well I've been eating yogurt and applesauce for four days and I'm not sick of it yet...
• Name three foods you detest above all others.
  Octopus, organ meats of any kind.
• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
  Chicken in Black Bean Sauce, or Mongolian Beef.
• What are your pizza toppings of choice?
  Sausage, mushroom, garlic, extra cheese.
• What do you like to put on your toast?
  Butter & jam.
• What is your favorite type of gum?
  Trident Peppermint.