Ordinary Extraordinary

The First Ever AAC

Step right up ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the first (and hopefully only) ever Amandarin Allergy Contest!

This morning I lived the dream of becoming a human pin cushion and started the round of allergy tests that will determine what exactly sent me to the ER earlier this month. My friends are already placing bets as to the culprit(s) so I thought... why not make a game out of it?

Turns out that I have some major allergies and some minor ones so, for the purposes of this contest, we'll focus on the major ones: The first person* to comment here with all of the things to which I'm deathly allergic will be rewarded with $10 via PayPal! (Hey, I'm going to be unemployed in three days... I can't be offering extravagant cash prizes.)

A few clues to help you make an educated guess:

• Until this month, I have never had an allergic reaction to anything.
• The meal that triggered my trip to the ER was pepperoni pizza, buffalo wings, and beer - all of which I'd had before.
• Over the course of the next week, my allergist will test me for 100 of the most common food allergies.
• Today I was tested for cereals, grains & seeds / nuts / fish & shellfish / chocolate. I had one major reaction out of those categories, and one minor.
• On Monday I'll be tested for meats, fruits, and vegetables.

I'll update with more clues on Monday after my next round of tests.

Happy guessing!

____
*Sadly, Cinnamon Girl is not eligible as she already knows one of the culprits.

Moment of Silence

Tomorrow, the lights on Broadway will be dimmed in honor of Wendy Wasserstein. A great voice has been prematurely silenced.

Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. -Wendy Wasserstein

Rest in peace, Wendy.

Apropos of Nothing

Cowboys? Cowboys are hot.

Australian and Brazilian cowboys, however, are HOT.

I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows that.

The exits are located here and here...

To say that this week has been bizarre would be a massive understatement. The freakishness reached its apex today when in the space of 45 minutes Apollo called to "talk," my boss laid me off, and I got called in to interview for two jobs in drastically different industries (one in my curent industry, one in the farthest possible industry from where I am now). As I was mulling over all of these developments with one of the wise women with whom I am lucky enough to be friends:

Me: The Universe sure has thrown me for a few loops this week.
She: Welcome to your Saturn Return. Please make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened.

*buckles up*

Panic

In a fantastic realization of a Production Coordinator's worst nightmare, we had a bit of a lunch emergency at work today: at 11:00 this morning I realized that I somehow had to come up with a semi-fancy lunch for twenty big wigs by 12:30.

My usual last-minute staples of Baja Fresh and California Pizza Kitchen were out as they are far too casual. My company's Catering department had a good laugh when I called to see if maybe there was a chance that they might be able to work a miracle for me. All my other usual restaurants couldn't turn around an order that large that fast.

*PANIC*

Enter Carousel Restaurant on a big, white horse. With fingers crossed, I called at 11:35am and placed my enormous order. The man with whom I spoke assured me that they could turn the order around quickly and sure enough, they did! It was complete, boxed, and ready to go when the PA got to the restaurant at 12:00 - they even helped her carry it to the car. The food was delicious, well-received, and (as an aded bonus) cost me less than twenty dollars per person.

Phew! Now I can start breathing again...

Another One for the Jellyfish Files

Apollo and I broke up last weekend. It's a long story and certainly not how I had imagined our ten years of friendship & love to come to a close, but it was the right decision. We had to tie up some loose ends this week, though... the bittersweet exchange of the dross that remains after a relationship ends. 

Seems simple enough, right? Not pleasant, certainly, to have to meet to return those few meager items that come to symbolize your entire partnership, but not unbearable.

Unless, of course, you have joined the Jellyfish Brigade (founded by Girl 1's spineless ex), as it appears Apollo has.

When I got home tonight, I found my spare key sitting on top of a few $20 bills (money he owed me for the ill-fated trip back east) just inside my door. No note, not even a freaking envelope. Just the key, and the cash.

Stunning in its cowardice, really.

Props to the Malapropist

This afternoon, over lunch:

He: ... so I was on this radio tour with Wolfgang Jack...
She: Man
He: What?
She: Man. Wolfman Jack.
He: Oh! Damnit. Not I've gotta call [Al] and give him a malaprop update.
Me: What?
He: I'm known for malapropisms. I keep a list on my Palm Pilot because I do it so often.
Me: No way.
He: Totally. I'm, like, the Emperor of Malapropisms.
Me: I think you mean King.
He: See?

The best part about that last bit? He wasn't even trying to be funny.

Lucky Shot

Fierce winds whipped through Southern California last night and my neighborhood got hit particularly hard. Wind was screaming down the hill so powerfully that it knocked out our power, blew half the tiles off my neighbor's roof, and toppled dozens of trees and bushes.

At some point during the night, an errant eucalyptus branch kamikazed into the passenger side of my car and punched a hole in the plastic behind the rear window.

I am SO lucky that it hit the plastic and not the glass, but my poor car!

Spine of a Jellyfish, Ethics of an Alley Cat

While standing in the concession line at the Arclight tonight:

Girl 1: So, my boyfriend is engaged.
Girl 2: Congratulations!
Girl 1: Not to me, though.
Girl 2: . . .
Girl 1: I found out this morning.
Girl 2: How?
Girl 1: He sent me a picture of the ring on her finger.
Girl 2: WHAT?!
Girl 1: He sent me a picture, on my phone, of the ring on her finger. No words or anything, just the picture.
Girl 2: Holy shit! Typical fucking guy. Spine of a jellyfish, ethics of an alley cat.
Girl 1: Well there is one good part, though.
Girl 2: What?
Girl 1: The ring was fucking ugly.

Dumping your girlfriend via uncaptioned picture message? Now that's cold.

Truth is, as always, stranger than fiction. You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried.

*throws confetti*

Happy Birthday Cinnamon Girl! (A day early, since I figured she wouldn't be anywhere near a computer on her actual birthday)

One of the bestest friends / brain-halves a girl could have, I tell ya.