The Treasure Chest

Relationships are like treasure chests, Daughter, and every day you put something in them. Some days it might be just a tarnished penny while on others it might be a wonderful glittering jewel, but you put something in every single day. The contents of that chest belong to the two of you alone and no one else knows what's inside, but you know and you can sit together and sift through all the treasures you've collected, remember the signifigance of them, and marvel at your riches. -My Father, during a phone conversation last night

My parents relationship is the (extremely high) standard to which I hold my own romantic relationships. They have been married thirty seven and a half years and they are still just as mad for each other as they were when they were dating. It is not uncommon for my father to bring home a small gift for my mother just because he was thinking of her, or for my parents to dance in the kitchen in their pajamas, or for my mother to blush and giggle when my father says something complimentary. They are partners in every sense of the word and they have built a life and raised a family based on love, respect, and a complete refusal to face the world in any way but together.

As I've gotten older, I've learned just how rare and precious my parents relationship is. I've also learned more about the environments in which my parents were raised and I can safely say that for my parents to get married, maintain a blissfully healthy relationship and raise a well-adjusted child is nothing short of a miracle. They are living proof that you can overcome any manner of bullshit, toxic environments, or abuse if you can steel your will to do so. In many ways my parents are my ultimate heroes.

* * * Last night, my Father's wisdom helped me clarify the things I need in a relationship versus the things that I want. The things I need are non-negotiable and cannot be compromised; the things I want are just... fluff.

I want grand gestures and the epic romantic scenes of poetry, but I need someone who will fill that treasure chest with me every single day and who will cherish every single thing we put inside.

Comments

[Jen]

Your parents sound a lot like mine. It's hard to have such a tough example for a good relationship in front of you. Especially when these days, it's so hard to find.